I don’t have time for problems only solutions.

These words can be very powerful in life when you feel that everyone around you is always telling you what you need to do, what you have done wrong or even just dumping their bad moods on you. It’s a quick tool than can be used in many situations. I use it all the time with children who bring to your door every morning, ‘Where is this? Why have you done this?’ and so on. 

Feeling under attack by problems brings on anxiety, disappointment in oneself for not being able to make the tension go away or even worry that everyone is not happy. This tool steps outside all the dramas in life and looks to the future. All those resources you have inside of you to find, have ideas, know where to look are often taken for granted when people come knocking with problems. This tool makes it a joint effort to work out the problems. By declaring “I don’t have time for problems only solutions” you are saying to everyone and the world, I don’t have time for negativity only positive thinking. You can offer solutions yourself and in doing so you are declaring that the problem is theirs…. Try this “I have two solutions to your problem?” For example, the husband who loses his socks on a regular basis, “You could look in the sock basket for those missing socks, buy some more socks or fire the washing machine fairy.” This tool is about taking the negativity out of the conversation, putting blame to one side and ignoring how it feeds off a bad mood. Falling for the blame game disguised as problems is easily done. This tool calls out such behaviour and you can take control of the situation.

 Knowledge is power I often say. So here is a little bit of power to restore your self-esteem, highlight other people’s behaviour and not fall for the bad mood just been handed to you on a plate with the words ‘problem’… you are now armed and ready with the word ‘solution’. Enjoy – you will have lots of fun with this in your life.